Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

Poor communication often leads to conflict, which, unresolved can engender various problems. Within the workplace, it is important to keep communication channels open with other individuals, as failing to communicate effectively creates an uncertain climate, in which communicators become reluctant to make attempts to resolve an issue, which causes it to augment (O’Hair & Wienmann, 2009).



When I started work years ago, I have experienced a communication conflict with the depot keeper, whom I needed to visit frequently to get material for my class. Although she did not use insulting language or inappropriate words, she was too aggressive for my ways. For example, instead of telling me that my request for a particular material was not justified, as it was too expensive to use in the manner I intended to, she intensely reacted by yelling that I was out of my sense to use it for such a silly artwork…I do not use offensive words in my dialogue and I try my best to be respectful to everyone, so when someone treats me in such a manner, I completely shut down.  My first few encounters with her resulted in resenting her and making ultimate efforts to avoid her altogether. I started asking my colleagues to retrieve material I needed instead of going myself. The reason for these precautions was the way she raised her voice and constantly objected to my requests. It is important to note that I was not the only one whom she treated this way; she held this comportment toward almost everyone else. One day, when I was asking my coordinator to place an order for me, she advised me to face the issue that was troubling me rather than evading it in this way. Eventually, she refused getting my things for me, which dictated that I had to resolve this issue myself.

Reflecting now on the steps I needed to make back then, made me realize that they were nonviolent strategies that I read about this week (CNVC, n.d.). The first thing that I did was writing a list before going to the depot and calling her to see if it was a right time to give her my supply list. I would try to go in the early morning hours, before I went to class, as it was the only time when the depot was not crowded. I realized that she was overloaded with work, and while I only had my needs to meet, she had to accommodate many other teachers and administrators. She had to follow up their request lists and give them their supplies, under enormous pressure that she had to give in to frequent outbursts. Once I understood her position, I started empathizing with her and genuinely making an effort to understand her needs (CRN, n.d.). In other words, I went out of my way not to listen to offensive language that might come out of her words, and focus on making it as easy as I could for her to serve me. I made considerable effort to choose the manner in which I delivered my messages to her. Eventually, it turned out that she was a kind-hearted and a lovable person, whom I would never have gotton to know if I had kept my windows shut. More importantly, I was able to communicate my needs and manage the conflict which enabled me to maintian a healthy work environment. The ironic thing is now, new employees resort to me as a mediator between  her, and them, because in their words, “she never turns you down” (Personal communication, 2013).

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication CNVC. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from www.cnvc.org

Conflict Resolution Network CRN. (n.d.). CR kit. Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3