Nonverbal Communication in Practice

NLP-Neuro lingvistisk  

Our assignment this week was divided into two parts. First we were asked to watch a show we have not previously seen with the sound turned down. The next part of the assignment was watching the same scenes with the sound turned on. I have chosen to examine a show that my daughter regularly watches: Rizzoli and Isles.

First, I will share my primary analysis of nonverbal behavior I observed with the sound turned off. I will try to figure out the plot and conceive the nature of relationships between characters. Afterwards I will examine how correct or inaccurate my interpretations really were.

Nonverbal interactions; muted:

The scene begins with a girl doing some kind of exercises, maybe stretching or some kind of stress relief meditation, she seems quite distressed...she gets killed by an anonymous.

The second scene involves a woman frying burgers and accidentally drops them on the floor. Two men Re on the sofa watching what seems to be a very exciting show; perhaps a football game? The woman seem to be upset with the men. They are either roommates or brothers. I am guessing brothers, since they are not making any attempts to help her. The woman opens the door and an older man shows up. Probably a relative? She looks very surprised and a little upset. From the hurt look in her eyes, I am thinking maybe it's her father, whom she hasn't seen for a long time.

In another scene, a female police detective is examining the body. Another male detective is standing with an older detective. I thought probably he is a higher rank as when the younger man seems to be making a joke, the older man gives him a mean look, and the man instantly stops laughing.

The next scene takes us back to the apartment, in which the woman is watching with irritation the older visitor playing video games with the young men. She suddenly snaps the remote control and turns off the TV. There is something bothering her. Maybe the fact that they are all enjoying their time, with no regard to her feelings? The old man gets up and hands each of them a card. She gets furious again. Maybe her father is inviting her to his wedding? They start arguing. One of the men stands close to the old man. The old man pats him on the shoulders. The other siblings are furious at him. The old man argues and the woman argues back, she then shakes her head off, as if she has done this before, and that there will be no chance of him listening to her.

In the next scene, the same woman suits up. She seems to be a detective, too. She meets the young detective from the first scene. He seems to be briefing her of the case. She then meets the female detective. They seem to be mad at each other, as if they were friends and had a big fight. Everyone around them seems to be aware of their conflict. They are watching the woman’s reactions carefully. The detectives go to question a young woman, maybe a witness; she does not seem to be related to the victim. She does not show any sign of sorrow or loss. In another room, they are sitting with an old couple. The woman is crying terribly, and the man is in shock. I am guessing they are the victim’s parents. The father is more composed than the mother. He is speaking, but avoiding eye contact with the detectives. He seems ashamed, or maybe feeling guilty for something.

In the next scene, the old man, the detective’s dad, is arguing with a woman. The woman is very mad. She throws a paper he just gave her back at him.  I can’t figure out what he is asking her to do. He looks at her with a sheepish look on his face. As if he feels sorry for her. I think he has feelings for her. She bursts out of the room, as his daughter looks so disappointed in him. She says something to him as she leaves, too.

Interpretation verification after listening to the dialogue:

What I was right about:

þ  The victim was indeed upset. She was murmuring self-assuring words. She was breathing and doing yoga exercises

þ  The woman in the kitchen was mumbling that she was not getting any help

þ  The young men were her brothers

þ  The old visitor was indeed her father, who disappeared for a year and suddenly reappeared

þ  She was angry at her father

þ  The card he gave her was indeed his wedding invitation

þ  The brother who stood by his side was in better terms with his father than the others and he has met his father’s fiancée many times

þ  The detective was briefing her of the details of the case

þ  The victim’s father was feeling guilty because he told his daughter that he was leaving her mother. She got upset, and whenever she got upset, she went into the basement or any dark place to be alone. He feels it’s his fault that she went into that dark tunnel to meditate.

What I was mistaken about:

ý  The young detective did not make the joke on his boss, someone else in the room did. He was just    laughing when his superior got offended and turned it on him. That is why he stopped laughing.

ý  The young woman was not a witness; she was the victim’s roommate.

ý  The female in the third scene was not a detective, she was a doctor, but she used to be good friends with the female detective before the latter shot her criminal father.

I can say that this exercise has brought to my attention the power of nonverbal communication. It was very surprising to me how I could fathom the type of relationships the characters had, through their gestures alone. I think being mindful of the nonverbal interactions that occur in front of us daily is a significant skill to have as an educator. I can think of numerous instances in which this skill can help me interpret interactions that occur between the children in class every day.